Refreshments
by AnimeFreak4343
Summary: Allen figures out he's gay, then Rabi's like, I love you! Then Allen's grossed out and then Kanda shows up and Allen's like, "OMG SUPER MEGA KAWAII!" …Yeah  Also, if that didn't tickle your fancy, then here, have this:  Rabi's got a crush on Allen, Allen doesn't like Rabi, but rather, the new kid, Kanda. High school setting, modern day.
1. Chapter 1

"Of course he works out! Have you seen him right after gym? No fucking way he could get that muscle from sitting around. He's sooo hot, I can't even talk about it anymore. It makes me sad because I'll never get him." Some girls giggled behind me about the new kid. Not that I mind, but they've only known him for three days, they could at least wait and see if he's a nice guy before they "fall in love" With him.

"Allen!" Rabi called from across the cafeteria, drawing attention to him self. The girls giggled again when I waved him over here. They said something about "Rabi's sooo sexy" and "I still wanna know what happened to his eye!"

"Hey Rabi, what's up?" I asked him when he finally made his way over to me table.

"I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to come over today after school and meet Yuu," The girls squealed again. That must mean that that's his name. The new guy.

"The new student?" I asked, just to make sure we were on the same page. Rabi nodded, "You made friends with him already? That's great, I'd love to meet him!"

Rabi looked at me weird, "What? I love meeting new people," I stated.

"Yea, but Yuu's a bit… stubborn. He's not very open about anything. He ahh… won't even tell where he's from. Or his first name, I had to find out on roll call in math. I know he's Japanese though he has perfect English. He… Only eats soba noodles though," He chuckled, "Anyway, I thought you might be able to get something out of him, you're way nicer," He chuckled again.

"Oh well I'm sure he's just shy. I mean, he's new, and we never get new students here. All the girls are going crazy over him," the giggling behind us stopped, and I could help but let out a smile, "And for you, also," We both laughed, and the ladies shifted around in an uncomfortable manner. Lavi cracked a smile, and looked over my shoulder, "yeah, I've been listening to them giggle for about twenty minutes now," Rabi chucked again.

"I don't understand women," he laughed, "They laugh and smile at you then deny you a date or kiss on the cheek. Seriously. Women make me crazy sometime," Rabi sighed and ran a hand though his red locks. He sat down next to me on the table bench.

There's barley anyone in the cafeteria; most of the tables are empty. There was an optional assembly going on so only people that couldn't be bothered with school activities didn't go. I'm doing homework, Rabi didn't feel like going, and the girls here probably just wanted to gossip in peace. Well I ruined that for them, because they fell silent and are probably glaring at me. That's okay, I'll apologize later.

"Stop complaining," I teased, "At least girls will talk to you about more than relationship issues with their boyfriends," I sighed. That's not really all that girls talk to me about, but it was the only time Rabi was ever around when one actually did. He cracked a smile, remembering the time that happened.

"Yeah! Poor you, every one must think you're gay!" He exclaimed, busting out in laughter. I laughed too, but not much. I didn't find it that funny.

Wait. I normally love Rabi's jokes….

"Woah, didn't mean to offend you or anything…" He said.

"What? Why would you say that?" I asked, confused. I laughed, I pretended like I didn't care.

"You gave me a look. You aren't actually gay, are you? Because if you are I'm totally cool with that and everything, I should just know, you-"

"Rabi! Calm down! I'm not gay," I told him. I'm probably bi, at the most. So not completely a lie, right? Wait… What the hell am I thinking!

"You sure? You seem pissed," He said, looking at me weirdly.

"I just… it's… I think… Excuse me," I shudder. What the hell is wrong with me?

I picked up my books and left the table; I ran up the north hall and stopped at my locker. Throwing everything inside, I made a sprint for the bathroom. I need to clear my head. Splash some cold water on my face and look my self in the eyes. I came to a stop outside the men's bathroom, then gently pushed on the door.

But there was no door there. Someone had opened it, and before I had the chance to catch myself I fell face first into his chest. He caught me, thankfully. I scrambled to correct myself and tell him I'm sorry.

"Oh crap! I'm…" I trailed off when I saw who I fell into. I'd never seen him before, so it's probably the new student. Yuu. He wore his dark blue hair back in a ponytail and his bangs and pieces of his hair outside of it. He had these stunning brown eyes, which seemed to close out everything. Perfect lips. Leather jacket, and Faded grey jeans. He seems slightly surprised, but not much. I recovered myself, "I'm sorry." I stepped back to let him out of the bathroom.

Yuu looked at me like I was the weirdest sight. "You have white hair," he said.

"And you have blue," I countered. I probably came off rude, I didn't mean too. He nodded. "I'm Allen, nice to meet you."

"Kanda." He stated, then started to walk away. I stared after him.

He's sure got a nice butt.

WAIT.

I blinked hard. Did that just go though my head? Oh god, I need water. I quickly made my way to the sink. I think I might throw up. Did I seriously think that? Or is my mind play tricks on me because finals are coming up? Wait… I didn't laugh at Rabi's joke either…

This is bad…

Wait….

Why is it bad? So? I like guys. I've always been rather feminine.

I looked me in the eyes, though the mirror. The scar over my left eye seemed darker today. I took my glove off. My arm's a little darker red too. The lighting? Maybe.

More cold water on my skin.

I sit in the bathroom until school lets out. I make my way out to my locker. The stuff I shove in my pack seems useless, though I know I need them all to study with tonight. Once I clear my head. The people swarm by me like bees. Useless irritating things that make noise, and sometimes prick you on the arm, then fly away. Not bees. Wasps.

Rabi. Rabi asked me to come over. Maybe he'll forget.

Who am I kidding, Rabi doesn't forget anything. He's wicked smart. Just as the thought felt my mind, I herd him call after me.

"ALLEN!" I turned around seeing him fly at me, gently weaving his way though the wasps. I smile and greet him when he makes it to me.

"Hi Rabi," I say, "Still want me to come over?"

He looked at me like I was insane. Which I might be.

"Seriously? Hi? So what, did you run off then cry your eyes out for an hour and a half? That's what it looks like," He pointed to my shirt, which is soaked from all of the cold water, "I really want to talk to you. Get this whole thing clear. But not here, too many people. Okay? Later, after Yuu's left," it didn't sound like a choice, so I nodded, "Right," He gave me a smile.

"Are we going to find Kanda, or does he know where he's going?" I asked Rabi, who was still smiling at me.

"He knows where to go," He said it like it was nothing. But it kind of made me jealous to know Rabi's spent more time with Kanda than I have, "Come on, lets get moving."

_Why, Allen. Why are you jealous?_

I don't know. Why would I know? I just realized less than two hours ago that I like guys. I can't be expected to know everything about how I feel.

Before I noticed it, Rabi had lead me outside and behind the school.

"Woah, Rabi, why are we out here?" I asked him, looking around. It was deserted back here, not a soul in sight, except Rabi and my self.

Rabi turned to me, "Allen, I wanna talk about that," he said. I could have swore he said after Kanda left His house, we would talk. I gave him a weird look.

"I thought you said after Kanda left your place," I say, not paying much attention to the situation at hand.

"Yes, but I know you'll only avoid the topic and try to leave. Here, you can't, because you promised me something. I know you enough to know you won't let me down on a promise. But I have a chance, right now," He said. I looked back at him the moment he started moving. We were standing right beside the school. Were. In one swift movement he had me up against the wall, a hand cupping my face and his body pressed to mine. I was shocked. I couldn't say anything. He kissed me softly.

I regained my senses and shoved him away, "Rabi! What the HELL was that?" He staggered backward. Rabi obviously wasn't expecting me to react like I did. He steadied himself, "I kissed you," He stated plain and simple.

"Well no duh! But iwhy/i did you kiss me?" I asked. I had no idea why he would, or if he even thought about it.

"Because I like you," he said still calm and light toned. I stared at him.

"But… you're straight…" I mumbled, confused. I really didn't know what to say.

"No, I'm not. I'm bi. Have been for a while too. Just didn't know how people would react, so I didn't tell anyone," He whispered. He moved towards me again. I put up my hands to stop him, fingers spread.

"Rabi, don't. I don't know what's going though my head. What I'm feeling. I need to think for a while. Leave me be for a while. Give me—" I trailed off. He was right in front of me again. He slowly raised both of his hands and interlaced out fingers, "Rabi… please."

"Just once more. Please. I don't know if you'll ever turn this way again…" Rabi whispered to me, his bright green eye pleading with y silver ones. I closed my eyes and let out a breath. Shakily, I nodded ever so slightly.

I feel him move my hands around, placing them around his neck. I kept my eyes closed, though I knew he was less then an inch from me. Tenderly and never so lightly, he kissed me again. He has full control, I wasn't going to move an inch. He pressed a little harder, and brought his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. I was aware of everything he was doing, right before he did it. I don't want to make out with him. I just want to go home and bury myself in blankets and fall asleep. Screw studying. He deepened it. I barley move my lips at all, but I know he's not letting this be over soon. All I ever do is hurt people. Rabi, those girls… Mana. I start to cry.

Rabi should be the one crying. I hurt him, he didn't hurt me.

He backed off, "What's wrong?" He whispered. I opened my eyes. He hugged me.

"Rabi! Let go of me!" I yell at him, breaking his hold on my arm at the same time. Without another glance, I picked up my backpack and ran full speed for the front of the school. Once there, I found Lenalee and asked her for a ride home.

"Sure, Allen. Anytime. Why are you out of breath? What happened?" she questioned.

"Could I tell you in your car? I just wanna get out of here right now," I said, out of breath.

"Okay, lets go!" She started walking to the parking lot, and I followed close behind. I saw Rabi looking for me. We passed him. He stared at me though the windshield. He looked hurt.

Lenalee pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the main road.

"So… tell me what happened?" She asked, glancing at me. I sighed and sank into the seat of the car, "Or not, if you don't want to…" she trailed off.

"No, its fine," I take a deep breath, "I think I'm gay."

She slammed on the brakes, throwing us both forward. Luckily, there's no one behind us, which is odd for right after school. Lenalee turned her whole body to look at me. Her eyes were big, and her mouth gaping.

I shied away from her glare.

From behind us, someone honked.

"Lenalee? Could you perhaps move to the side of the road?" I asked, staring straight ahead. Silently, she turned on the emergency lights, without even looking to see if she was hitting the right button.

"Lenalee?" I asked, stealing a look at her though the corner of my eye every now and then.

"Explain," She said. I flinched at her words, her tone wasn't the most inviting, but did I have a choice to answer them or not?

"Well…" I pulled my knees up to my chest, and buried my face in them before I continued, "I was talking to Rabi today in the cafeteria and he said a joke about me being gay and I didn't laugh and now I know why I didn't laugh but then after school Rabi asked me to follow him then we ended up outside and behind the school and he kissed me," I took a deep breath. I didn't pause once in that sentence.

Lenalee peeled her eyes away from me and finally pulled over to the side of the pavement, "Okay," She whispered, "You're sure about this?" I sunk into the seat a little more.

"Yeah."

"Well, It's your choice. So I'm happy that you found your self. I'm happy for you," She said with a smile. She looked behind me and her face drained of a smile, "I'm sorry." She told me.

"What? Why—" I turned to the sound of a knock on the window. Rabi's staring down on me with hurt written all over.

I took a shaky breath and thanked Lenalee for the ride, though I wouldn't be needing it. I opened the car door and she drove off.

I kept my eyes trained on the ground as he spoke to me.

"I'm sorry Allen. I shouldn't have asked that of you. You need time to figure things out for your self. I shouldn't have done anything that I did. I'm sorry," His volume slowly depleted as he kept talking, so that he whispered 'sorry'. "I just wanted to love you."

I keep my eyes fixed on a piece of gravel, "I'm sorry too. For running away. But Rabi, I need a little time. I just can't…" I trailed off, a tear or two coming to my eyes.

"Just let me hug you. You need it," He whispered. I paused. A hug couldn't hurt anything worse than it already is. I nodded slightly.

Rabi silently inched closer to me. I felt his strong arms wrap themselves around my frame. I rested my head on his shoulder and let a few tears fall. The more I let him do this, the more I'd hurt him, and the more I'd hurt myself.

"Rabi?" I asked softly for his attention.

"Yes?" he whispered all too hopefully.

"You can let go now." I say.

He tightens his grip on me for a second, and then lets me go, "Sorry."

We stand in silence.

Rabi's phone vibrated. Kanda's at his house waiting for us, and Rabi tells him we'll be there in a few minutes. He closes his phone and looks up at me.

"Please just come and hang out for a bit with me and him," He asks. I nod. Things couldn't get more fucked up, could they?

Rabi started waking and I followed but kept my distance.

Then I remembered. I remembered running into Kanda. His beautiful eyes. His solid figure. Shit. I've never really crushed on anyone before, but I think I might be. I can't let Rabi found out. He'll be hurt beyond anything I could've done just then.

We're almost to his house quicker then I realize it. Shit! I try to compose myself. Failing, but trying anyway.

"Hey Kanda!" Rabi yells to him. Kanda turns from his spot on the sidewalk to face us, but not much more than that. Not even a smile. He watched us walk up the sidewalk, and I was flipping out. On the inside, of course. I probably look like I've been crying for an few hours.

"Rabi, I don't know how the fuck you got me to come here again, after what happened last time I—" Kanda stuttered when he realized I was walking behind Rabi, then he continued on a different topic, "why am I here?"

'Rabi noticed Kanda's mistake. How could he not? It was pretty obvious,' I thought. He glanced at me then glared at Kanda. Kanda gave Rabi a look as well. I had no idea what the fuck they were doing.

"I wanted you to meet Allen. He's really nice and I think you two could be friends," Rabi told him. I wanted to laugh so hard; his tone idid not/i match the words they were paired with. It sounded like a death threat. I couldn't help but crack a smile.

"What's your problem, bean sprout?" asked Kanda, tsking when I looked confused when addressed by that.

"I don't have a problem. It was just funny to me. And, I would prefer it if you would not call me that, thanks," I say with a shaky voice. He looked at me weird.

"Fine. I'll call you Moyashi," Kanda said flatly.

"What's that mean?" I asked, flailing my arms about.

Rabi was now glaring at me. For ruining his "threat", I suppose.

I died of embarrassment, I just sat there for a moment, holding my gloved hand to my chest by the wrist. A few more seconds of them staring at me.

"Can we just go inside now?" I asked of them.

"Sure, I've got a movie or two if ya wanna watch one," Rabi, seemingly calmed down, disappeared though his house door quickly. Kanda followed.

Today was going to be hell. Even if we only watched a movie and when home, it was hell already though.


	2. Chapter 2

The inside of Rabi's house wasn't an unfamiliar sight; I'm here all the time—you could say that Rabi has deemed himself my best friend. He lives here with his grandfather, of which, I've only seen three or four times, since he stays locked away in his private study. Of the hundreds of times I've been here he's never complained about noise, never came out to ask us if we were hungry, or wanted something to drink. He's only come out for the mail, as far as I know.

"Rabi, where's your bathroom?" Asked Kanda from the living room, standing in the hallway before the kitchen. I removed my shoes and placed my backpack on the hardwood floor. Rabi's in the kitchen, probably getting something to drink, or searching for something to eat. I know I'm usually hungry after school, but I seem to have lost my appetite after everything that's happened so far on this retched day.

"Down the hall first door to your left." Rabi replied, sounding like he has his head stuck in the refrigerator. I tried to sneak past Kanda's vision and escape into the dinning room, and failed. He caught my eyes and gave me the slightest hint of a smile, by simply raising a corner of his mouth. It was enough to give me chills. I tried to calm myself enough to steal myself into the living room, but couldn't find it in me. I stood there frozen by his eyes. Moving? Yeah, no. His eyes had a hold of me, with their flecks of gold and… blue? Looks like blue. That's amazing. His eyes, I mean…

He turned away and went looking for the bathroom. What was that! I mean that was maybe two—three seconds and I was totally mesmerized. What the fuck is wrong with me?

My eyes followed him for as long as they could around the corner. I know where he's going, I could follow him. To where? The bathroom? No, that'd be weird. I did manage to go a few short steps in his direction before I caught myself; Rabi made a loud banging noise in the kitchen.

I take the few extra steps into the doorway of the kitchen. What I find, doesn't surprise me—Rabi has an entire bowl's worth of fresh grapes scattered across the floor like tinny bombs—step on one, a whole lot more cleaning to do. Rabi's not one to be sloppy or clumsy, so he probably did it on purpose. I don't know his motives, even if I've been his friend for a while now, I still can't figure out some of the things he does. Though this time I have an idea, and I don't like it.

I silently started picking up grapes off the floor, alongside Rabi. In a minute or two, Kanda joined us, standing in the doorway, asking what happened.

"I dropped some grapes." Was all Rabi said, and continued plucking them from their resting places on the floor. We had everything cleaned up in less then five minutes, and Rabi thanked me for my help, then shooed me off to the living room with Kanda. Kanda eyed me with suspicion. If it wasn't for the… I don't know if I should even call it an argument—earlier, between Kanda and Rabi, I would say he hated me. But much less, I think he likes me.

Sighing, I sulked into the couch, tired from today, everything that's happened. Though I know it's not over yet. There's more to come. Just as the thought hit my brain, I felt someone touching my shoulder, and shied away from it. I stole a glance behind me at Kanda, who was standing behind the couch, his eyes showing concern, while the rest of his features couldn't care less. He realized what he was doing, and dropped his hand back to his side, and pretended to stare off into space. I turned back, and stared at a stain on the white carpet. I actually wanted his hand to come back. To rest on my shoulder. I longed for it.

I clenched my jaw. No, I didn't. What's wrong with me? Why would I want this guy, who I just met today, to comfort me? I just found out that I'm gay. I need to figure some things out before I make rash decisions. Like liking someone, for example.

"Allen? Kanda? I'm walking up to the store. Getting some popcorn and stuff. You guys can stay here. I'll be back in half an hour." Rabi stated from the doorway. He gave me a sullen glance, and a nod to us both. Knowing Rabi, he'll be back in 45 minutes—if I'm lucky. This means I'm going to be alone with Kanda for who knows how long, with an old man that never comes out of his room.

I turned back around in the couch, and waited for the front door to slam. But it didn't. Instead, soft footsteps came a crossed the carpet towards the couch. Rabi's soft touch ruffled my hair, and I shied away from it, the same way I did Kanda's touch. I glance back, this time at Rabi, with a death glare. I was getting fed up with Rabi. He already knew I wasn't… That I don't like him like that. I turned back round in the couch and drew my knees up toward my chin, hugging them. What the fuck am I going to do? I heard the front door slam. The stain on the floor was suddenly very interesting when Kanda walked around the couch and sat beside him and touched my shoulder.

I didn't shy away. It calmed me more than anything else.

"Allen Walker. The boy with white hair. You, of all people; Rabi's lover." He stated, like he knew what he was talking about. I jerked away from his hand at his words and stared at him.

"I am i_not_/i his lover." I said coldly. He gave me a sideways look and replaced his hand with a slightly tighter grip.

"Then why were you two kissing?" He asked in the same tone I gave him. My eyes found the stain on the floor once again. I remained silent.

"Che. Well?" He said; after a few seconds. I turned away from him completely and tensed.

"He said he likes me. Then he kissed me. I didn't have much choice."

"Che." He grabbed my chin and pulled my face to look at him. "I'm giving you a choice then." I tensed more. "May I kiss you?" His brown eyes were fixed on mine. I froze.

"I…" A blush rose to my cheeks. I couldn't say anything more. I don't know what my face said, but something must've been wrong. He sighed and let go, standing up all in one swift movement.

"Forget it." He clenched his fists and started to walk away. I thought I saw what looked to be a slight red tint to his cheeks; I think he was blushing.

I unfroze; I let out a breath I was holding and stood up. I had to run, but I caught his arm before he left the room. He turned to stare at me, waiting.

"Yes." Before I could even finish one word, his lips were on mine. He twisted around and grabbed the back of my head and slid a hand around my waist and under my shirt. It made me shiver; his hand was cold. I couldn't do anything; I was once again frozen in place because of him. All I could do was close my eyes and concentrate on his lips with mine. My stomach flipped and I thought, 'This is my first kiss. Not the other one today… This. This here.'

"Allen." He whispered, breaking the moment.

"Yea?" I replied. He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. I didn't want it to be over. I wanted my stomach to tingle and him in close and personal contact. He'd dropped his arms when he had pulled away.

"Will you go out with me?" I tensed at his question. I ducked my head and brought my scarred arm up to my chest and clutched it wrist. My socks seemed very interesting compared to when I put them on earlier.

"Uh…I… don't know…" I took another shaky breath. He sighed and turned me by my shoulders to face him, though he didn't make me look up. For that I was thankful, I don't think I could look him in the eyes without crying.

"It's okay to say no." He said flatly.

"No! No, it's just… I just realized I'm gay…today… I don't even… know what…" I gripped my wrist harder and clenched my jaw.

"Think about it." He whispered. I nodded and felt him slide his hands down my arms. He didn't have a reason to, but he let go of me—when all I wanted was for him to hold me. "I'll be behind the building after school." I knew exactly where he meant. Right where Rabi kissed me.

"Okay." I gave a small nod and whispered the word again. I walked toward the front door and picked up backpack and my shoes from the mat, put them on as quickly as I could, and opened the door, and gently closed it behind me.

Then I ran. I ran directly towards my house, directly towards the house Mana left me when he died. It was grand and old and extremely too big for one person. I threw my backpack against the side of the wall, breathing hard and tired; that run was at least three miles.

I still managed to clime up the oak staircase and collapse into my bed, before pulling the covers over my head and just laying there in the dark with my eyes wide. Thinking. Just thinking. I must've sat there for hours; I even made a mental pro/con list. It was only about six a clock when my stomach growled angrily at me. I sighed and dragged myself out of bed and made my way downstairs—sluggishly. I didn't stop thinking about it all the way though my large dinner and even though a T.V. show I tried to watch. I should be happy, right? So, why am I stressed out about it? I just don't know…

I give up, I'm going to bed. I did my evening rituals; wash dishes; brush teeth; change; then I finally went to bed at nine. I just laid there. Going over everything again. I'm for sure over thinking this. It should just be what ever makes me happy. What makes Kanda happy. What makes… Rabi happy. I can't be with both of them, I'm only one person. I like Kanda. I don't know what it is about him that makes me smile. But I like Rabi as well. Just not in the same way. Defiantly not the same way…

Eventually I drifted off to sleep, still thinking I was silly for thinking this though so much.

The next morning is when I realized we had finals. I cursed myself for not studying, and sighed. Today was going to be another one of those days where nothing goes right.


	3. Chapter 3

Lunch. It means food for hungry wasps. I'm not very hungry. I've had a long day, and today is almost over; which I'm dreading more than the exam I didn't study for. The term 'saved by the bell' comes into action when I saw Rabi headed my way; luckily he was lost with the swarm of people trying to get to their next class. I've managed to avoid him all day, even thought my release period and most of lunch. I cleanly navigated my way though the halls, to my classroom, to my seat, and successfully sat down without running into either Kanda OR Rabi, which amazed me.

The truth was; I didn't know what to say to either one of them. I don't know what Kanda had told Rabi when he got back from the convenient store. I even thought up the probability that they had sex. I had immediately discarded the thought and shoved it in a far, far corner of my brain.

"Allen! Allen, are you okay? You look sick, man. And I don't mean like red-nose-and-tissue sick, you look like hell." The kid I sat next to had started poking and prodding my arm until I responded.

"I'm just stressed, surprisingly not about finals though." I sighed and relentlessly turned back to my exam, and continued on with the question.

"Alright, bro. I know the feeling. Hope it works out, whatever it is." She smiled at me and picked up the eraser she had and began fiddling with it; completely ignoring the exam. I found it odd, but didn't think much of it.  
>I let the rest of the exam pass with the attitude of my desk partner; I'd finished half of it, and didn't feel like doing anymore. I was acting so unlike myself, it was almost insanity. Then one thought—just one thought—of Kanda brought the whole situation back to the front of my brain. The thought was the following: He really does have a nice ass.<p>

"What?" She said. I looked at her confused, and she gave me the same face in return. "You said his ass was nice… Who's, if I may ask?" She gave me a weird look, like I was slightly insane.

"I… I did not, _not_, say that aloud, did I?" I whispered. She grinned and poked my side.

"So! Tell me! I did just hear that, it was low and under your breath, but oh boy did I." She gave me a grin from ear to ear and spat out her name. "I'm Krystal, I just moved here a week ago, and I need a friend." I suppose it couldn't hurt to tell her, she looked just like someone who would be the last person to tell or be told gossip. Bright blue hair, dark jeans, petticoat, hell, she was even wearing a dog collar.

"Alright." I sigh, the class was almost out, and people were talking amongst themselves in hushed tones. I continue at a loud whisper, just loud enough for her to hear me. "So yesterday, I realized I've never liked girls. At all. My best friend told me that he loves me an hour later, and then, just like that," I snap my fingers, "He kisses me." She raised her eyebrows. "I'm not done yet. So afterwards, he apologizes, and asks me to come over because he doesn't want to be alone with the new guy, Kanda? Yeah, him." I get a small flutter in my stomach when I say his name, "So then, after I meet this guy for the second time, he asks me to be his boyfriend when my best friend isn't around. Then HE, well… WE kiss, and I'm confused, dazed, tired, and most of all, head over heels for the new guy."

She's silent. She cocks her head and squints. "That's why you're stressed." She remarks.

I nod just as the bell rings. She quickly packs up her pencil and eraser and leans towards me, telling me probably the best piece of advice I've heard. It was plain and simple. A few words that meant everything.

It also helped me make a choice. I waved goodbye to her in a daze while I packed my things and rushed out the door. I halted. There he was. Kanda, standing right outside my classroom. He had his thumbs in his pockets, his eyes on the floor, and his back against the lockers. He knew I was there, he just preferred not to look at me. How he knew what class I had last was beyond me.

"Kanda." I said. I wasn't frozen or baffled per se, just awkward and shy.

"So?" He asked. He didn't actually look at me. I think he was embarrassed. I answered him as truthfully as I could.

"Yes." I answered confidently, slightly breathless. It was a bit of a change of plans; I'd imagined everything except him showing up out side of my classroom. He looked up and shoved himself off the lockers. I knew I just saw him blush!

Being a man of few words, he didn't say anything. A tug of a smile I've seen only once before played on one corner of his lips and he strode towards me. The hallway was still crowded as if it was the middle of the day; people hadn't gotten their things out of their lockers and headed home quite yet. His movements made me think he'd never been in a relationship before; he awkwardly hugged me, and being about five inches shorter than him didn't help. I hugged him back.

We'd gathered more than half the hallway's occupancies' attention at this point, and Kanda not letting go didn't help.

"I… uhm… I'm not a big fan of hugs." He said and let go. I smiled shyly at him and grabbed his hand, gathered my thoughts and blushed like mad.

I couldn't wait to kiss him again.

Too have his arms around me again.

Just..."Don't let me go." I whisper, audible to only him and myself.

"Okay." His expression softens the slightest bit and he grabs my other hand—the gloved one—touches his forehead to mine and closes his eyes.

Just on queue, Rabi. Ruining my day again, though I hate to say it. Do you know how you can tell when he's coming? All the girls in the hall with nothing better to do hush themselves and giggle. I gasped and tightened my grip on Kanda's hands.

"I'm in trouble." I whisper to him and turn away from his questioning look.

I have either of two options. One: I can run from Rabi, and keep me and Kanda under the radar. Two: I could confront him, potentially break his heart, and fess up to what I've decided.

Or, rather, I let Kanda do something because I can't move.

"Che, Rabi, come here." Kanda yelled to him, letting go of one of my hands so he could face him with his body. Rabi's head veered towards Kanda's voice and came closer. My face drained of color and I stared straight the floor in front of Kanda's feet. Due to my lack of looking at either of them, I only heard their voices.

"What?" Rabi's voice. Confusion.

"I couldn't..." Kanda's voice. Sorrow.

Realization set in on Rabi as he studied Kanda, reaching his hand holding mine and me without anything to say.

"You fucking bastard." Rabi. Angry, calm. I looked up.

Rabi was standing about five feet away from us, hands clenched into fists, but other than that detail, relaxed.

I looked down again. "I'm... I'm sorry." I stuttered. "I just…"

"Not you. Him. I told him everything." He switched to addressing Kanda. "Everything about Allen! And you just…" I looked up at him again. Kanda let go of my hand, though I couldn't say that I wanted it back, I tugged on his jacket sleeve. Rabi's practically shaking; single tear fell from his good eye.

"I thought you were my friend." Rabi whispered. He wiped at his eye with one of his hands, turned, and walked away. I stared after him in awe. I don't know if his words were directed to me or Kanda, but they hurt like they were meant for me.

"Hey." Kanda said to me, "Let's go." I gathered myself and nodded, his firm grip replaced on my small hand, tugging me in a direction I didn't care to notice.

"Hey Allen!" I voice called from behind me. I pulled on Kanda's hand and stopped to see who called me, and to my surprise, it was Krystal. "Is this Kanda?" She asked as she came to a stop next to me, and smiled.

"Yes~" I blushed and looked down at my shoes.

She studied me. "I see." She giggled. Krystal held out her hand to the Japanese man. "I'm Krystal, nice too meet you!" She grinned.

He didn't seem to take notice of her outstretched hand and mumbled something inaudible.

"He ahh… doesn't talk much." I half elbowed him in his side, he grumbled at me, and I rubbed the back of my head as Krystal stared at us.

"That's okay. So I guess I'll see you later then, have a good Friday!" Krystal smiled and waved at us both as she started her stroll back though the high school.

"Are you cheeky all the time?" Kanda asked, grabbing my attention.

"Yep!" I nodded and smiled at him.

"But are you really that happy?"

My smile fell and I dropped my gaze the tiled floor.

"I understand." He whispered.

Only later it hit me; I knew little to nothing about Kanda.


End file.
